No, she went by boat

Everything's changed.

Job
I no longer work in Surat Thani. "The job didn't work out" is the official line I'm using on everyone. I found the place and the job exciting at first, but eventually I was finding everyday life pretty dull and was just living for the weekends. I also had some difficult classes which never really got any easier. My naive hopes about Thai school kids - they would all be quiet, polite, meek and humble - were way off the mark! They're absolutely bonkers. And one high school class was so...stupid that I didn't know what to do with them half the time. After a week of trying desperately to teach them how to say what time it is in English, I finally realised that most of the class couldn't even read a clock-face and say it in Thai!
I also didn't really click with the senior teachers and in the end it was quite a relief to leave, despite forming some good friendships along the way.

Thai people
I'm starting to get frustrated with Thailand in general; the smiley, happy-go-lucky 'mai pen rai' culture belies a people who are actually at times quite narrow-minded. I've learnt enough Thai now to know just how rude, even racist they are being sometimes. Yet Thai people seem to aspire to be white and find dark skin really ugly, and there's no taboo about making this very clear to black people. Why doesn't anyone ever talk about anything real? Why doesn't anyone ever worry about things that need to be worried about? Why is everyone so lazy? After twenty-eight years of fighting against the system, hating money and ignoring politics, I've come to Thailand and it's turning me into a right-wing capitalist. There's something wrong going on, I'd better get out.

Backpacking like a proper backpacker, not a pretend teacher
On the bright side, in my four months in Thailand I've travelled most of the south. I've also now been to a Full-Moon party (which I could have written a whole blog about but there's no time for all that now). I recently spent some time on the infamous Khao San road in Bangkok and made friends with Israelis, Slovenians, a Danish businessman etc.
I went to Kuala Lumpur when my work visa was cancelled so that I could re-enter the country on a 30-day tourist visa and I absolutely loved the place. It's so multi-cultural and somehow sophisticated. I walked around in the loudest thunderstorm ever in the world and looked at massive buildings, museums and a butterfly park. The people speak incredible English and even their own language sounds strangely similar to a Westcountry burr.

Me v Airports
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a terrible flier. Not because I have a fear of flights, but because of that stupid thing called 'time'. When my work visa was cancelled and I had to be out of Thailand the same day, my bus was delayed by two hours and I missed my flight. The only other flights that evening from Phuket airport were going to strange, far off places like Seoul and Helsinki or whatever. So I bought the next one to Kuala Lumpur which was at 8:00am the next morning. And I waited. For 12 hours. It was a lonely and bizarre experience, in a small airport, just me and the cleaners and a few Spanish travellers sleeping on benches. Then when I finally went through immigration, after no sleep, I got pulled to one side because I was leaving a day late. A stern officer sat me down in front of his desk and asked me several questions, shaking his head disapprovingly at every answer, then he asked if I wanted to pay a fine.
'No', I said.
'No!? Why not?'
'Because I've already had to buy another flight.'
'Hmmm.'
Then he smiled slightly and pointed to a sign which said something about exemption from fines for 1-day overstay.
'So it's ok?' I asked.
'Hmmm. No', he said, his face rigid.
An uncomfortable silence and then he and several of the immigration officers around him all burst out laughing.
Ahh, Thai immigration, those funny, fucking guys.

Then on my way back to Thailand I'd stupidly forgotten that you need to have proof of a return flight or onward journey. So at the check-in at Kuala Lumpur the lady told me to go and buy another ticket. "You have 20 minutes before the check-in closes." I went to the Air Asia ticket office and tried simultaneously queuing and using their computers to book something online. My card was denied and I'd run out of time. I went back to the lady who had already checked my bags in. She spoke with her senior and together they agreed to help me and give me a dummy ticket. They told me what to say if Thai Immigration asked questions and it all felt a bit naughty and illegal. Lovely, lovely, dodgy Malaysians.

So now after all this, am I heading back to England with my tail between my legs?

No, of course not. I'm starting a new job on 1st March in Jakarta. You can expect more regular updates on here from now on, about my time in Chiang Mai where I am now, and then about me struggling to get to grips with another new and entirely different culture. Jakarta!? I've never even lived in a big city before. It's going to be messy.