I was quite disappointed I have to say. I actually have to start work in a few days so want to fit in as much random fun as possible.
Then I met a bunch of Thai girls in one of the crass bars. A rather bullish, strong-faced girl called Wow asked me to play pool. My, what precise skills and spacial awareness she had. She thrashed me.
She said she would take me on a tour of the island if I wanted. Her friends said "Be careful, she crazy!" with sincere, furrowed brows. So I said yes anyway, can't resist an adventure. Wow seemed a bit odd and certainly not what you would call attractive, but friendly and genuine enough so why not?
So Wow took me on a motorbike (and she really knew how to ride that motorbike). Wow spoke confidently and at great length with very impressive English vocabulary but the most abysmal accent I can imagine, so I didn't understand a word and there were countless uncomfortable silences. "You so quiet, you kind of guy only have friends on Fessbook".
But Wow and I went to the Big Buddha, struck the bells around the perimeter with a kind of Buddhist baseball bat for good luck, visited several other shrines and fed the giant fish in the surrounding ponds. We saw the Grandfather and Grandmother rock formations (which look like genitals, Wow found this really funny even though she'd seen them countless times), we climbed a stunning waterfall - "I no afraid to climb, sometimes I more like a man".
We went for some beers on Chaweng beach and watched the incredible sunset. Wow became sullen and asked me strange questions about my sexual tastes. A beach-seller saved me from having to answer by putting a monkey in my lap.
Wow took me home to my hotel when I told her I was too tired. I promised to come and find her the next day to go partying, but I could tell by the look in her eyes that she could tell from the look in my eyes that that was never going to happen. My stupid, honest eyes.
So Wow took me on a motorbike (and she really knew how to ride that motorbike). Wow spoke confidently and at great length with very impressive English vocabulary but the most abysmal accent I can imagine, so I didn't understand a word and there were countless uncomfortable silences. "You so quiet, you kind of guy only have friends on Fessbook".
But Wow and I went to the Big Buddha, struck the bells around the perimeter with a kind of Buddhist baseball bat for good luck, visited several other shrines and fed the giant fish in the surrounding ponds. We saw the Grandfather and Grandmother rock formations (which look like genitals, Wow found this really funny even though she'd seen them countless times), we climbed a stunning waterfall - "I no afraid to climb, sometimes I more like a man".
We went for some beers on Chaweng beach and watched the incredible sunset. Wow became sullen and asked me strange questions about my sexual tastes. A beach-seller saved me from having to answer by putting a monkey in my lap.
Wow took me home to my hotel when I told her I was too tired. I promised to come and find her the next day to go partying, but I could tell by the look in her eyes that she could tell from the look in my eyes that that was never going to happen. My stupid, honest eyes.
Life throws up situations where you have to ask, will I learn more about myself sat on a beach reading Ulysses or riding around on the back of a motorbike with a ladyboy? I made my choice and I stick by it.
It was eventful but thankfully not in a sexual way. I legged it to Koh Tao the next day which is far more my cup of tea. Did some snorkelling with a terrible hangover yesterday. Paradise.
It was eventful but thankfully not in a sexual way. I legged it to Koh Tao the next day which is far more my cup of tea. Did some snorkelling with a terrible hangover yesterday. Paradise.
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